Editor's note: Steve Doherty is a retired United States Air Force officer and aviator and a member of South Central Power Company. He is the author of four historical fiction thrillers and three children’s books. Steve has an undergraduate degree from Texas State University and a master’s degree in health science from Chapman University. He holds a doctorate in flying training from the United States Air Force and completed post-graduate studies in adult education at The Ohio State University. Steve lives in New Albany, Ohio, where he is a 2nd Dan assistant instructor in Taekwondo.
Research tells us that teaching and establishing a healthy work ethic in children is a strong predictor of success as an adult. We have all come across kids in middle school or high school who are disciplined, persistent, and tenacious and do whatever it takes to be the best. We have also known kids that only do what they have to do to get by. Their motto, it seems, is, “If the minimum wasn’t good enough, it wouldn’t be the minimum.” The reasons behind both vary, but somewhere in their life, someone taught them these things.
Parents need to understand that children listen and learn by observing. A home is a natural and continuous learning environment. Regardless of the intention, everything a parent says and does is filed away in their children’s gray and white matter. Everything! It’s not a matter of if you are teaching something, but what you are teaching.
As a parent, you need to look closely and ask yourself, “What exactly am I saying, and what is it teaching my child?” If you are disciplined, confident, and persistent in what you attempt, your child's chances of learning the same values are much greater. Why? Because it’s all about example, example, example. If a parent has a positive work ethic, they demonstrate a “do as I do” versus a “do as I say” pattern of success.
Tony Dungy, a former professional coach in the National Football League, used to teach his coaches and players that they needed balance in their lives. Family time to Dungy was a high priority. Dungy would remind them that a work ethic that sacrifices family turns out to be all work and no ethic. Therefore, it is essential to teach our children balance in terms of work by being a good example. You should also teach them that relaxation after work is necessary, so they learn to associate relaxation with completion of work rather than relaxation as an escape from work.
Another way to teach a good work ethic is to take your children with you when you do volunteer work. For several years, I have volunteered and taught Taekwondo to autistic and special needs children. Every time I teach, I take one or both of my granddaughters, who are also in Taekwondo, to help. Why? Because working for the sake of others who are less advantaged is an indispensable tool for establishing a work ethic. It teaches children the importance of helping others. It also teaches them humility, responsibility, generosity, and compassion.
One of my students, Olivia, is an excellent example of what a strong work ethic can accomplish. Olivia started taking Taekwondo lessons when she was eight years old. Last March, when the coronavirus shutdowns hit us, she was preparing for her black belt test in the summer. When our training facility shut down, the summer black belt test was postponed.
Over the next eleven months, Olivia’s middle school classes and Taekwondo training were conducted online. As most parents know, it’s not the same as in-person training. Like most teenagers, Olivia struggled with the lack of in-person interaction with teachers and classmates and staying motivated. Due to the seclusion and being away from friends, her self-esteem suffered. She lost confidence in her abilities. At times, she wanted to quit. But determined to be a black belt, Olivia fought through the tough times and persisted. Eleven months after the coronavirus shutdowns, Olivia finally tested and received her 1st Dan Black Belt in Taekwondo. However, without the strong work ethic that Olivia developed over the previous five years of training, it could have easily ended in her dropping out.
This is why demonstrating a strong work ethic is so important in a child’s learning process. When parents demonstrate values and principles like discipline, self-control, persistence, and resilience, they are also building those traits in their children. Teaching children to have the courage to persist when times are tough allows their confidence and tenaciousness to kick in when they face difficult situations. In the future, when you notice your children applying these principles on their own, praise them and tell them how proud you are of their behavior. Then watch their eyes light up. So you see, what we teach our children does matter.
